I'm going to miss my Jack Russell who likes to bite. She also goes up to people, sometimes religious types, and barks at them. I'm not sure if she has atheistic tendencies. Perhaps she should be attacking the drug addicts who hang out near Dunkin Doughnuts. One day this preggy drug addict and I got into a fight at Dunkin Doughnuts. She cut me in line. I said, "Excuse me, you cut me in line." The preggy drug addict replied, "If you don't want to be lying on the ground, shut up." I proceeded to thank her because I am not a violent person. And I think the taste of ice coffee and skim milk tastes better than a walked on Dunkin Doughnuts floor.
Sarah Palin
Do you think Sarah Palin is good looking? I do, for a vapid creature. Her son-in-law, Levi, who has an article in Vanity Fair this month--I've only read excerpts on the Internet and Gail's NY Times piece--says she is a mean mom and does not cook for the kids and really, the woman can't even shoot a gun. That's a let down. It'd be one thing for her not to be Suzy Homemaker, but it's quite another thing that she has never probably shot deer or wolves. To me, this is a dissapointment--not because she has spared the wolves and deer--which I'm glad--but because this defeats the myth of her Republican machismo side. No more fantasies. No more interludes with Sarah the great warrior homemaker. All we now have is a reality TV wannabe.
Annie Leibovitz
See the below article paragraph about Annie Leibovitz.
I saw Annie and Susan Sontag making out at the Angelika Movie Theater a few years back. It was so annoying because I was there to watch the friggen movie and they were clearly there to make out. Maybe I'm jeolous, which is entirely possible, that I was not making out with anyone. Anyway, I'm glad that she was able to get her loan company to calm down a little bit.
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz reached a deal on Friday with the art finance company behind her $24 million loan, allowing her to buy back control of her photographs, which had been put up as collateral.
Thanksgiving
We have a lot to be thankful for this year. A future president with a brain. A future secretary of state with an anal retentive bug up her ass. No, in all fairness, I like Hillary--from a distance. I mean, I wouldn't want to make jello with her. Hopefully, she will reduce the funds the US gives to Pakistan, which is currently funding Osama.
I'm grateful for my current cold--the microbes have finally invaded.
Off to the doctor's for a flu shot.
Happy Turkey Day y'all.
Eleanor Palins In Comparison to Sarah--but Vote Obama!
Sarah was spotted today in a Carhartt jacket. That was me in drag. Because yesterday I dressed up as Sarah in a dress. While she voted for herself, I voted for Obama. See below and above photos:
Sarah Palin--the Mayor of "B-I-N-G-O"
Sarah Palin is the brain to nowhere. Or maybe she's the cerebral hemorrhage that's been squished in the New York subway station by a large rat named Elma beween gum wrappers and Tootsie rolls.
When you listen to Sarah speak, she sounds like a character who escapted "B-I-N-G-O." Yes, do y'all remember that song about the dog we sang in Kindergarten? Well, Sarah's marbles in mouth sound as if she could have been Mayor of B-I-N-G-O and shot the dog and thus ended the world they lived in.
Sarah is hot in the sense that perhaps acid it hot. She is fawned over by working-class thugs/red necks/ex-Lehman Brother workers who, like Alec Baldwin, believe that the world has changed drastically since Shirley Chisholm was running for president.
If Sarah had been a victim of the panty raid in Phillip Roth's recent novel Indignation (frat boys at a 1950s midwest college threw female students' white panties into the snow), she would have assisted the young lads. But she's so duplicitous that she would not have likely inspired any of their erectile facilities.
Sarah's resources--such as her high school yearbook for choosing people for government jobs when she became governor of Alaska--or her helicopter that she understandably uses to shop at Wal-Mart--is beyond the Palin.
That she asked Biden if she could call him "Joe" at the debate, well, that was demeaning to women who want to be on more than the flirt level with their male contemporaries. Maybe she should have stopped the debate and said, "Joe, I'd like to kiss you but I'd be ridiculed more than Princess Elizabeth was during the Renaissance when she allowed a married admiral to touch her buttocks."
Sarah annoys women more than men because we live in a culture of extreme self-hatred as women; and when we see a woman such as Palin who truly embodies the beloved stereotypes of male chauvinists, well, it sends us to CVS in the hopes of ODing on Comet.
Sarah's a heart beat away from that burn victim McCain who is certain to press an atomic button or two, if given a chance.
If you read this, and have not made up your mind, vote for a brain that is not the bridge to nowhere. Or you can always get a lobotomy after they get elected and imagine that it never happened.
Obama and Lobsters
My mother and I love to eat lobster. There's a place on Route 33 in New Jersey called The Lobster Shanty, and unlike the Red Lobster, where lobsters and fish are sometimes frozen, you get fresh lobsters. True, you must envision your lobsters steamed and their lives boiled. I even did this once myself in Chinatown, NY with a fresh lobster--my then dog Henry Miller and I listened as the lobster screamed. However, the delicacy, in which we both had a piece of the lobster tail dipped in butter, was certainly worth the lobster suffering. Probably, when I descend into Bush's inferno, I shall be dipped in boiling water.
We also had the privilege of meeting these elderly ladies while we dined on lobster, and inevitably, the election became the topic in conversation.
One lady, who assured me she'd bring her grandson to this restaurant to eat lobster soon, said, "In my beauty parlor they were saying that Obama is a Muslem."
Now while there is nothing inherently wrong with being a Muslem, Obama, unlike Osama, has been a Christian, not a Muslem, for most of his life. I think he may have gone to a school for Muslems, but for the most part, he is a Christian and once even had a feisty minister as his minister.
We also, this lady at the Lobster Shanty and I, discussed Sarah Palin.
"Everyone at the beauty parlor loves her--except they don't like her hair."
No one likes Sarah's hair--it's very retro 70s. The lady also does not like Sarah P's "black skirt."
I assured her that Obama is a Christian. I think maybe Sarah is a little too Christian. But maybe some people think I'm a little too Jewish. Well, I can't be too Jewish if I'm dipping lobster in butter.
In fact, when my mother and I returned to our Orthodox Jewish neighborhood in Lakewood, NJ, I said, "Mom, don't forget the lobster you brought home in the doggy bag."
"Shhhhhh----what will the neighbors think?" I hope the neighbors think Obama is not the same as Osama, but that Sarah runs a close second to the apocalypse.
